If you’ve never been to Amsterdam, chances are you’ll get completely lost when you hit the ground running. Don’t count on maps to help you find your way around. The Amsterdam Centrum twists and turns and goes sideways in ways only the Dutch can appreciate. Maps look simple. The city isn’t.

For $500 dollars per person I’ll give you a personal one day introduction to the herbal world of THC Amsterdam. I’ll introduce you to the Gourmet coffeeshops and the people who run them. We’ll soak up some summer sun while we inhale the finest weed known to mankind. I’ll show you how to change your worthless dollars into Euro gold with the best exchange rates in the city. If you don’t know the ropes on changing dollars into Euros, you could lose more than they’re worth.

I’ll tell you where to stay, which four star hotels relax the rules on smoking in your suite and which ones are located in the heart of the gourmet district. You’ll know where to get a great steak, Belgian french fries, homemade Italian food, and goofy Dutch cuisine should you so desire. You’ll learn how to get into and out of the Red Light district and if you wish, I’ll take you to the front door of the world’s most expensive brothel. Whether you go in or not is up to you, but beware, just getting in through the front door without getting laid costs 500 euros.

Summertime is the best time of year to zoom the city. The sun doesn’t set until after 10:00 pm. The tables are out on the sidewalks filled with people eating, drinking, and smoking. Don’t bring shorts though. The Dutch think wearing shorts without some apparent demonstrable physical exertion on display is odd. I’ll also teach you how to avoid simple rip-offs in purchasing smoking accessories as well as herb. An American accent indicates an anxious amateur and some shops take advantage of that by selling dried out skunk at prices to high to justify. I’ll show you how to avoid all that.

If you want to have a beer and smoke pot, I’ll take you to places that allow you to do so and show you the process. Recently, the Dutch government yanked alcohol from the list of products available for purchase in the coffeeshops. However, several loopholes allow certain setups to serve beer while other patrons smoke weed.

You’ll become friends on a first name basis with the people who own and run the coffeeshops, as people from all over the world have done. And when it comes time to fly home, you won’t want to leave.

You can contact me here at Charlesuncensored.com to coordinate a personal pre-paid tour in the summer sunlight of this enlightened and liberated city.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 at 9:22 am and is filed under Amsterdam & Beyond. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.