Only 3% of all living things are monogamous. That includes different kinds of birds, mammals, and mankind. Only 3% of all the people on earth are truly monogamous in their thoughts, feelings, and actions. 3%.

So when one of the other 97% go looking for enhanced sexual satisfaction, the search becomes a misdemeanor, morally and financially. No doubt Eliot Spitzers wife will tally up the tab and give him his walking papers. There’s money to be had in divorcing Eliot and judging from the intense emotion wrinkling Silda Spritzers on camera expression, she has every intention of taking Eliot to the marital bank , accompanied by her divorce attorney, for a money making dissolution of the Spitzer’s matrimonial union.

Why can’t we just admit that none of us is monogamous, or if we choose to be, we exist in a tiny minority that should not be used to carry the gold standard of obedience for the betrothed and the coupled? Admit once and for all that each of us cannot avoid looking at an attractive man or woman and that it is part of our nature, not some aberrant sexual disorder. Sure, we still love our companions with all our heart and soul but that doesn’t mean we can’t love other companions with the same lusty bonhomie that we share with our spouse or girlfriend.

Once humans move past this psychotic orthodoxy that we must have just one lover, wife, or companion for the rest of our lives we will open doors of perception and insight once reserved for half naked holy men cooped up in mountain top caves. We will understand more about ourselves, our desires, and finally realize the ways in which society keeps us obedient to the outdated status quo of monogamy.

Once you understand that desiring others to share your life with is a natural particle of romantic intrigue, guilt will fade as will emotional self- neglect and a curtain will rise to reveal the truth that lives within all our souls.

We are not monogamous and we may never be,

Just don’t let your spouse or lover know that you know. Remember, only you can prevent forest fires. Big expensive ones. The kind that end with checks to lawyers and new ways of flirting with other castaways in the labyrinths of late night singles bars.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 13th, 2008 at 9:31 am and is filed under Stuff I know. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.