If you’re a man you can’t be alone with children anymore unless they’re your own . Even then, a vengeful wife clutching a fistful of divorce papers might just imply that not only are you unfit as a husband, but you might have fooled around with the kids in what women now refer to as an “inappropriate” manner.

You might not think that this scenario couldn’t possibly happen to you but you’d be sadly mistaken. Thousands of men across the country have been dismissed as loving, caring people and transformed into potential molesters of children. A women filed a complaint against one of her relatives because he had nieces and nephews sitting on his lap while he read them stories. Nieces and nephews sitting on your lap is now instant molestation. Obviously you were enjoying the cluster of kids so close to your crotch. Otherwise, why would you put up with it?

Boy Scout leaders are now instructed to never be alone one on one with their troops. They’re advised to be accompanied by another adult whenever that situation presents itself. The same goes for male teachers . Or uncles. Or dads.

Women are off the table. They can be alone with kids, have kids sit on their laps, wrestle with the kids, be all the good things a loving adult can be. You’d have to have a tractor trailer full of depositions and multiple witnesses to even think of bringing molestation charges against a woman. But to accuse a man of molestation all you need is the words from the mouth of a pissed off kid. You may have disciplined the kid, scolded him, or left him out of something he looked forward to. Given the times, all the kid has to do is say “ He touched me”, and you, being a man, are on your way to a mad carnival of legal fees, court dates, and possible incarceration for the rest of your life.

It’s sad. A family physician came upon a lost child crying his eyes out in a shopping mall. He wanted to help the kid, but even as he closed in on him, the kids eyes widened and he began bawling even more. After all, a Man was coming at him. The physician walked away, not wanting to be seen as the source of those potentially troublesome tears. Other men won’t be alone with a child on an elevator. Child advocates now tell single mothers not to leave their children alone with any of the men they may date. I used to take my girlfriend’s kids to the movies they wanted to see because she had to work. You’d be a fool to do that today. After all, you’re a man and you’re guilty until proven innocent.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 9th, 2007 at 2:43 pm and is filed under Stuff I know. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.