June 12th, 2014

I don’t have children but one of the lessons I would instill in them is that cops, police, troopers, whatever the hell you want to call them, are not their friends. They’re armed enforcement goons for the established order of authority and will fight on the side of capitalism given any unionized skirmishes. Cops never say, ” Enough with corporate caused pollution, enough with ripping off the markets, enough with taxpayer bailouts, enough with abusive working conditions and cheap, third world health care. Enough with multitasking for lower wages or no raises at all.”

When unions organize to protest unjust working conditions the cops take the sides of the VP’s, the SVP’s, and the pirates of industry who make our water undrinkable, our food inedible, our air unbreathable. Not once in our history have these paid corporate enforcers ever taken the side of the working man. They sit outside bars at closing time, hoping to catch someone dodging a pothole so they can pull them over for DUI. hassle them, make them perform tightrope walks, recite the Koran backwards, or other confusing tasks that even sober motorists would find challenging. I have neuropathy. I can’t put one foot ion front of the other without tumbling sideways. I don’t drink but God forbid I get pulled over on suspicion of DUI.

Cops get away with murder. No one forced them to become police officers. They volunteered.What kind of psychopath enjoys making the lives of others miserable? When a cop dies while on duty, funerals resembling military parades are held with other cops taking a few hours off and using up a few taxpayers dollars per hour to join the endless procession of grief. Remember. Cops have guns. They shoot unarmed lawbreakers and get away with it. If an unarmed perp suddenly rushes them, they’ll pull out their 9mm weapons and blow him away. They’ll be put on paid leave until the issue is resolved, most of the time in their favor. What about using the martial arts to subdue the attacker? Train them in Aikido or other non-lethal defensive skills. If a dog snarls or barks at them, they shoot the family pet.

To say the police are out of control is only a mild assessment of these very dangerous people. Notice they never smile. Try to engage any one of them in a friendly conversation and they eyeball you as if you had C4 with a fuse wired to your chest. They show up after Aunt Mildred is mugged. They show up after the crime is in progress or has been committed. To them, every citizen they’re supposed to serve is a potential enemy. They collect revenue, park in the breakdown lane of an Interstate, just over the top of a rise hoping to nail an unwary, speeding motorist. Do cops really join the department to hand out speeding tickets? To sit by the side of the road, jerking off, until the meters indicate an oncoming vehicle is doing ten miles an hour over the limit. Speed doesn’t kill. Not knowing how to drive kills. If speed killed, there wouldn’t be enough NASCAR drivers left alive to keep the sport intact. Same with the NHRA. Same with cops in cruisers speeding to an accident scene or robbery.

I have no sympathy for people who sign up for dangerous duty and then die doing it. None at all. If you’re afraid to die, dig a ditch or sell flood insurance. Don’t hide in the bushes waiting to nab motorists to meet ticket quotas. Don’t toss flash grenades into cribs maiming babies because you want to make a surprise attack on a suspected drug selling triple decker. Stop taking steroids you procure illegally to muscle up. Be courteous to the people who pay your salaries. Stop hot rodding around in your cruisers just for fun. Stop pulling over minorities because you “suspect” suspicious behavior because the occupants of the vehicle have their ball caps on backwards. Ever see a cop stop a white businessman in a three thousand dollar suit driving a Mercedes AMG and order him to stand beside his car with his hands on the roof on a 95 degree day? Ever see him making the same businessman sit on his ass on the asphalt with his hands around his knees while the cops toss his car?

Cops are bullies. They get off on the force of law that runs up their spines. They beat citizens senseless and get away with it. Once in custody, it’s not unusual for cops to abuse the prisoner, verbally or otherwise.The only thing that separates these bad boys( and girls) from the bad guys is the uniforms they wear. Some states even have a police officers Bill of Rights in place. Privileges cops have that the rest of us don’t. If the cops had their way, there would be no such things as criminal defense attorneys. But there are. Thats the real thin blue line that separates us from totalitarianism and the freedoms being stripped away from us every day by these disturbed psychopaths.



March 30th, 2011

How many people are nominated, then inducted into a Hall of Fame? Whether its sports or academic, the Hall of Fame of anything conveys a humbling message to its recipient. The Hall of Fame means you’ve accomplished things your peers have yet to attain. It is humbling because whatever you did to get inducted into the Rhode Island Radio Hall of Fame you didn’t do it on purpose. You did it because it was fun.

I think you achieve Hall of Fame status because you love what you do. You certainly don’t do it for the money or the hours. You persevere in floods of unforeseen failure. Timing and good luck are elements of success.

Radio is not conducive to successful relationships. It is an isolating, crazy, combustible career. You can have great talent and achieve nothing. You can lack talent and be retained on the air for years. You can have number one ratings and be gone tomorrow. You can have lousy ratings and make a quarter of a million a month.

But to make the Hall of Fame you really have to survive. Survive the complex addictions, afflictions, and doubts. The break ups of relationships and the hardships of being in between gigs. The grindstone that threatens to crush your spirit. The exuberant highs of soaring success. The debilitating fatigue of depression following failure.

You take chances to get into any Hall of Fame. Chances in both your personal and professional life. Whether its medicine or celebrity, no one ever gets into the Hall of Fame being a bystander. Hall of Famers have been hit hard. By debt, defeat, and despair.

Yet they survive. Survive eternally in a manila file someplace in a sliding drawer of historical documents. Survive forever in newspaper morgues and government documents. Survive the dust of decay because one hundred years from now someone will want to look it up and see who these people were.

That is why it is both humbling and a valiant honor to absorb yourself into being inducted into a Hall of Fame. It wasn’t a walk in the park. You avoided the trap of the mediocre. You said things that got you fired. You thought out loud and were condemned. You made people laugh and they loved you for it. You were silly. You covered the bases and got hurt. And you learned the ultimate lesson that if you try to please everyone, you please no one. Thats why you’re in the Hall of Fame. Enjoy it. It was a tough ride on a very rutted, and damaged piece of pavement.

April 23rd, 2011


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